Alone… Lost….Overwhelmed…Misunderstood…these are just some of the feelings I experienced on a regular basis as a teenager. My emotions were all over the place. I was unsettled at school and at home and it took its toll on my self-esteem. As for self-compassion, I didn’t have a clue what that was let alone how important it was for my mental health. I was an anxious teenager who didn’t sleep well because my mind liked to race around a lot. I didn’t have coping strategies like mindfulness to boost my resilience and self-esteem in the face of life’s chaos.
I kept a diary from when I was 14-15 years old and just reading it reminds me of the huge weight that teenagers have to bear. When I was a teen I experienced typical teenage challenges without the ability to release the build up of pain and pressure in a healthy way. I simply channelled my discomfort and pain into hard work. It fuelled this absolute determination to succeed in life. There is nothing wrong with drive, there is nothing wrong with wanting to climb the career ladder. What matters is what is going on internally whilst you’re doing this. Only now, 22 years on am I realising that the most important thing in life is to be happy deep down in your core. I mean the kind of happy that can only be achieved by looking after yourself, looking after your mental health. I buried my emotions deep for years and they came back to bite me in the bum in my 20s and a lot of my 30s…mainly in the form of anger and sadness.
So for those teenagers reading this now. please don’t make the same mistake that I did. Suppressing your emotions harms you in more ways than you know. Start looking after your mental health today. Don’t wait until you’re older. Starting today isn’t too soon. In fact I think it is essential in the face of today’s teenage mental health crisis. And you all have a lot more to handle in today’s world…the fear of climate change, the pressure to be plugged into social media night and day (no escape from cyberbullying, no escape from the superficial celebrity obsessed world we live in)….and the list goes on. You would benefit from pressing pause every now and then. Taking a step back from the busy lives you lead every now and then and just connecting with the here and now. Engaging in the present moment, I mean what is happening around you right now that you may not notice with your heads facing downwards towards your phones. I mean putting down the phone sometimes and, like a meerkat, lifting your head up and looking around this beautiful world we live in. I mean actually engaging in a conversation with the person next to you in class who you don’t know whilst you wait for the teacher to arrive. I mean soaking up a sunset without taking a photo of it and filtering it, then instagramming the reality out of it. Or taking the photo quickly if you really can’t help yourself but then putting the phone down and just absorbing it in all its beauty. I mean really savouring that chocolate spread on toast that sparks your taste buds. Sinking into it, savouring every… Single….Bite. Life doesn’t always have to be a rushed to do list. Take those moments every now and then to give your brain a rest. Your brain is a muscle that needs resting every now and then just like other muscles in the body. So be kind to it with mindfulness.